You know how sometimes life just hits you in the face with a brick? Well that is kinda what has happened in my life lately and I’m just working on holding my head above water in the middle of a stormy ocean of thoughts.
I find it easier to talk about hard things when I get some distance to the issue, and not while I’m in the middle of it. It’s easier to see the complete picture once the fog clears up a bit and time passing offers me a new perspective.
Experiencing some traumatic events recently has brought up a lot of stuff that I had put the lid on, which in turn have caused me a lot on anxiety. I’m currently working on sorting through everything and helping myself by talking about my feelings and experiences with close friends and family. And while I do not feel ready to open up about everything to the whole world quite yet, there is something that I feel it’s time to share.
Which for those of you that are not familiar with the term means that your gender identity is not exclusively feminine or masculine, but a combination (or for some people: neither). In my case my experience of gender can vary from day to day, but generally I tend to be a little more on the masculine side.
I find it difficult to change my pronouns right now and have decided to continue using she/her for the current time being. That might change in the future, but it might also just remain the same. I just know that this is how I feel now and have been feeling for some years. I have struggled with dysphoria on and of since around the time I became a teenager, but never really been able to grasp what that feeling of something “not being right” was. Now I know, and I will no longer let it consume me.
This doesn’t really affect anything about what you have to call me. My name will still be Jeanett and my pronouns remains the same for now. I just needed to come clear about this to have one less thing to think about. I want to embrace this part of myself and not have it be a source of anxiety. And what better time to do so than right now as the Pride week kicks off here in Bergen?
If anyone is left feeling confused after reading this or is curious to know more, please do not hesitate to ask questions. I will not get offended by your questions – just happy to share and have interesting conversations that we all can learn something from.
Lots of love ❤️🌈